Blog: Dating

Date: 2018-Feb-03 03:44:56 EST

One of the more unsatisfactory parts of my life is dating. Mostly that I'm not doing it at all. For the last .. long time, I was on OkCupid, but I never got much out of it. It was more there as a means to have hope for meeting someone, and as a substitute for trying through other means when I thought about it too much and got anxious about being alone, than it was a good way to actually meet people. I'm not great at that generally though; I'm not very social and I don't do much that keeps stirring the social pot. Meaning I haven't been on a date for several years and haven't even held somebody's hand for longer.

Near the end of last year, OkCupid changed how messaging works so it's not automatically shown to the recipient. They explained why on their blog, but it smelt of activism and I found it dissatisfactory. Either way, it meant that it was no longer worth sticking around there as people almost never messaged me and I almost never could get myself motivated to message somebody; I didn't see making that effort to message somebody as worth it anymore. So I left.

I'd like to believe it's gonna happen that I'll meet someone in real life and start to date, but it still might be nice to leave possibilities of online romance. Unfortunately, Match, the company that owns OkCupid, also has bought up most of the market in the US, with most dating sites being subsidiaries. Bummer. I've been trying Tinder, but I doubt I'll ever meet anyone there either (and it's still a Match company). Frustrating. But maybe that's good if it'll get me somehow to be a bit more social, at least enough to meet people IRL. Historically the problem with that for me is trying to make something happen if I felt something; several people have moved through my life without my ever having expressed an interest in any way. I need to figure this out soon if I ever want kids and company.