Blog: Preparing Words

Preparing Words
Preparing Words
Date: 2018-Oct-24 15:05:42 EST

Tomorrow I'm giving an internal talk on code quality at work - I'm coming to enjoy regularly doing talks again. Feels like a variant of doing normal teaching - targeting is harder and time is scarcer, and the need to be punchy and entertaining is higher since listener commitment (and expectations of mental state) is lower. Fun. I rarely get nervous unless I'm both ill-prepared and underknowledgable on the topic.

Yesterday was abnormally crowded at the gym - the sole remaining rowing machine was free, but no treadmills so I tried one of the stair-climbing things for the first time in my life - was surprisingly tough. I think it used muscles I don't normally use much. I enjoyed the novelty even though it was mostly a mix of feeling intimidated and "well I want to do *something*" at the time. I hope I can push myself over that hurdle more often in life - this is a workable route to novelty but not one that I often follow.

Had one of those kinda conflict-y conversations at work with a coworker a few minutes ago - Linux CoC came up, and I lightly mentioned the monastic CoC which I think is delightful because I think most CoCs overreach. Person I was speaking with strongly disagreed - mentioned that too often it's very damaged people who brag about how angry they are who make the CoCs; he felt that was a good thing, I think it's a very bad thing and leads to terrible overreach and that any community rules should be done as minimally and slowly as possible. He fled the conversation. Do I feel bad about it? No; not fun to have conversations where people flee, but I mean what I say (based on long experience with activists), I said it in a civil way, and it's just one of those genuine disagreements out there. I wish I had had the best lines of reasoning I have ready in my head to more strongly explain my why, but just as there are a few topics where I'll flee (in the past, discussions of the Hiroshima bombing have been a topic where I don't handle disagreement well, for example), I think this is a currently hot topic in society leading to people who can't continue the conversation. And while I don't like confrontation, I've learned that if I don't try to take the field eventually activists of positions I dislike will win the field and I'll be booted; I don't want to let that happen.

At least I think that's true - conflict wears me, but I seem to get into a lot of arguments, with people all over the political spectrum, on the internet. Maybe that's loneliness.

Still struggling with meaning in life and if there's time to meet someone and start a family. It's a constant topic for me. Kinda like the migraines; this weekend was terrible with them.

Was really bummed that NYCCHAOS didn't get many people show up to the last meeting. I need to get back on the horse and schedule a third meeting, but I have not been feeling very motivated after that let-down. Also need to write the material, as external speakers haven't shown up. I wonder if I'm just not suited for running meetups. On the upside, I think we're about to start teaching Python at BiotechWithoutBorders.

Got a new phone - Pixel 3XL. Probably was a mistake ; not particularly different from the 2XL, especially after I tell it to hide the notch. Little value-add at reasonably high cost. There is the charger stand compatibility which is kinda nice, but not enough to cost-justify.