Having Been Human
<Previous Next>
Wed Jul 18 15:05:08 2012
Less Approachable, More Lovable

Fiona Apple's latest album is a lot less approachable than her earlier albums; her third album is sophisticated and easily approachable, while this fourth one is complicated and has been growing on me the more I listen to it. It's not Zappa-level experimental, where even after I've listened to his songs for years, only about half of them approach the level of being worth listening to in most moods; it's more like a difficult-but-awesome person. Which maybe is what she's aiming at.

Is it strange that people like me have ideas of friendship and love that praise the difficult? Is it that I know that I am difficult, or is it the idea of earning someone? The earning-the-learning? Or perhaps it's the idea that we're all weird and twisted and broken and that the simple smiles feel like lies? That the tangledness is the way we learn to trust someone, or measure our depth with them? Or maybe not everyone's that complicated, and this is just our way of finding people like us? Either way, the desire to smash the simple and saccharine is there. There's no promise, with twisted people, that there won't be another twist sometime down the line, but somehow I'm more willing to accept that; "I was lying to myself" or something like that feels more forgivable. Maybe it's just aggrevation at people who seem like children, or on some other side of an emotional uncanny valley.

On the subway today I pissed off the "show time" breakdancers by refusing to move from the place they wanted to dance. Feeling pretty good about that; they've come so close to hitting me several times when dancing and their music is terrible, plus they're not supposed to either be asking for money or moving between trains while the trains are moving. One of them got grumpy and asked me to move; I told him to piss off. They later asked another person to tell me they wanted to perform where I was standing, and I told her that I knew. The subwayfolk generally seem to be of mixed opinions about these guys; nobody really seemed to be anything but vaguely bored at my standing there facing away from the dudes. Still, I don't expect to be able to stop them every time.

Recently been bothered by audio sync issues with my laptop; the music skips reasonably often. I'm not super-keen to track that stuff down; the problems are never fun. Also been wishing that we'd get cooler weather in the evenings.