Having Been Human
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Fri Jul 27 21:36:04 2012

Having a really tough time focusing today. Wondering if I'll hear back about this recently G application. Decided to make myself stay home to see if I'd be more productive. Not at all. Unhappy about the need to move in a month. Unhappy that I'm here in NYC and skimping so much that I'm not really getting much out of the city. Wondering if I would actually spend much more if I were not skimping, or if this is 80% psychological. Lonely as hell. Irritated that I'm not really doing anything with my hobbies either, but they seem to require me to have my social needs met before they're going to feel worthwhile; otherwise they're just closed loops that I mentally optimise away.

Restless and feeling disconnected.