Having Been Human
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Fri Dec 21 16:10:08 2012
On the Other Side

It's probably not the healthiest habit to be into to go to sleep when lonely because there are people in my dreams to interact with. Particularly when the frustrations I have with the failed or insufficient social ties IRL are often echoed there.

Still angry/upset/hurt over Kep, but that probably comes from not being over her. Probably won't manage that until I'm in another relationship, and it may be a long time until that happens. Failing to even make a social circle here. And I know that it's because of me.

Oh well. At least there is tea and plenty of time to write.

OkC hasn't been very helpful, but my expectations of it have been very low for a long time. Every time I manage to goad myself into writing a note to someone I have to convince myself that they might be someone I'd pick for a date over anyone else if it came to that, which is exhausting and requires a lot of self-manipulation. And then there's predictably no response, while ugly people message me and I get to ignore them and try not to feel bad about that.


Still, there's that tea thing, and good food. And the dreams are at least usually entertaining, albeit often sad.