Very boring day today. Job center is closed on Fridays, so I'll be certain to go on Monday. Recieved another call from a recruiter, and heard the 'not hiring entry-level programmers' thing again. *sigh* The OSU greensheets have a few more jobs that I'll go apply for on Monday, but they don't look like they pay very well. Not very happy with my continued lack of employment.

Anyhow, for awhile I wasn't sure if I was going to get up in time to make the interesting hours of Insomnia, but it looks like I will today. I seem to like napping from about 5pm to 11pm ... it's a good time to sleep.... the sun is coming down, etc. It's also a good time to go for a walk. I haven't been on many walks recently. I maybe will go for one this weekend.

Hmm... getting used to the clock-chimes of my computer is hard, although I still am in love with the idea. I think maybe I need the intro chimes before it chimes out the time, as often I'm not quite paying attention and need some time to mentally shift gears to count the chimes. I think maybe I know what I like about it -- it's a simple, non-irritating way to tell the time that is nonlocational (roughly), push (to borrow the faddish net term), and uses a sense other than sight. I love that anywhere in my apartment, it works, that I don't need to request it, and that I don't need to use my eyes to have it work. Of course, it'd be completely irritating if it had a more complex sound. As a gift for Xmas one year, I got a clock that made animal noises. I used it for awhile, and after only a short time, I began to have fantasies about smashing the thing with a sledgehammer. It's currently sitting, without batteries, somewhere in the storage area of my apartment. Again, one of my principles, life should be kept simple in the uninteresting parts. I actually would love to have a real grandfather clock. I am curious about the mechanics of their operation though -- do they need to be wound? I don't think they're plugged in -- they existed for too long before electricity, if memory serves. It's sad -- so many of the more ... noble(?) devices, companions to humanity, were made some time ago. Too much today is made with a focus on being cheap. That's not inherently bad, but if it looks cheap, and acts cheap, then it's not really very desirable. Pocketwatches, grandfather clocks, older looking hats, umbrellas, nice chairs, etc. Give me a nice, old version of each from the 1930s, or with similar style, and I would be a happy person. Oh well, not a big deal. In some ways, we've stepped forward. Other things we have are markedly better -- cars, a lot of types of clothing (thanks to new materials), etc. Some time ago, I went with Jason to an Army Surplus store, and got my current pair of footwear. They're a nice big pair of (army?) boots. It's nice to have something that fit my (too wide) feet. I don't think I'd ever want to wear footwear from the 1930s. I suppose that's another of my attitudes towards life -- seek optimalities from everywhere (where interesting), creating new ones when no old ones are sufficient.

I'm probably almost dry from the shower I took in the middle of writing this, so I guess that marks the end of this entry.

This is a work in progress that represents essay ideas I've had for awhile, haven't (as far as I can remember) written down, and still mean to write an essay on sometime. Still haven't found the right way to phrase it.

Racism and nationalism are two elements of mass psychology that cause a lot of problems in the world today. They revolve around an 'us versus them' mentality. The traditional solution (western, anyhow) seems to be to expose people to all sorts of cultures in their youth with an emphasis that all of these are (equally?) valuable, and that our current culture is just one of the pack, no better/worse than the others. This sort of works, but not terribly well, as later on people still can easily drift into mild racism based on representational psychological effects. It also has some extremely negative side effects, from our point of view, in that although much of western culture is suboptimal, there are some areas, or at least some subcultures (scientific) that we would like to mark as being superior to superstition and ignorance. Advocating a value of truth is not consistant with advocating an egalitarianism of values. Other ideas which are incompatible with our society are often also herded into the 'accept all of this' fence (e.g. racism, sexism, honor, etc) something not particularly wise.

There is another way to address these kinds of issues -- to keep back the psychological effect of representationality, we can instead dissolve ideas of identity. By providing the base categories and stressing them, our society unwittingly provides the framework for these effects that we want to minimize. If we can make it so that people care no more about their racial heritage or nation of origin than the color of their hair, then we essentially will have the problem solved. It would be a hard remedy for some, but generally such people are the people causing problems anyhow.

My neck often doesn't feel right recently -- it feels like it's not quite strong enough to hold up my head. It aches often. Irritating. It doesn't seem to make a difference what my posture is.

Dr. Forrester seems to have a swelling on both sides of his jaw. I probably should make an appointment to take him to the doctor.

Hmm... not sure what to do today. Might see a movie with Charles -- he called me yesterday when I was out, and wanted to watch more of an incredibly long Lars von Trier film about a haunted hospital. We watched about half an hour of it last weekend. It's a little over 4 hours long. On the plus, it did have a certain interestingness to it... maybe it's that the characters just had a lot of force of personality or something. On the minus, it seems to be yet another one of those films that thumbs its nose at modern science and encourages screwball mystics across the globe to continue in darkness. The particular thing I'm talking about is that it's a fairly non-fantastic film that has scientists, well, doctors anyhow, do their best with tools of science, fail, and then 'what-the-hell' do exorcisms and all that crap, and it 'amazingly' works. Well, that's according to the box, anyhow. It all seems to be part of a revolt against rationality. People get mad when you take their dumb spirituality away from them, so they rejoice when they see it striking back, even if only in the movies. Grumble.

I probably should just try to enjoy the film, but it's like something made of ivory -- in other places/times, society is paying the cost of embracing this stuff, and while I am rational enough to ignore negative elements, most people arn't. Witness the mass-delusions that are Islam and Christianity.

Oh well.

Looks like the movie w/ charles isn't going to happen today. Oh well. Feeling hungry. Might do Indian Oven or Mongolian Barbeque tonight... Just need to figure out who to eat with.

I sometimes feel that I'm much more intelligent on a computer than I am in person. For some reason, the keyboard as a medium to communicate makes me more able to collect my thoughts. Countless times I've said something I've instantly regretted in RL, but that almost never happens on a computer. It feels like my intentionality is stronger, or perhaps that I'm less impulsive, on a computer, and also more able to collect my thoughts. Hmm. Maybe I should talk slower in RL. In some ways, the internet inherently feems more expressive to me as a medium than RL.

I think I'll maybe go for a walk today, or perhaps take one of my Iggies outside for sunning.

Perhaps I'll call around, find someone, and while I wait for them to arrive or whatever, I'll let my iggies enjoy the sun.

Hung out here, as I was getting ready to go to Insomnia, was called by Charles. Picked up him and a girl at his place, drove through Taco bell (first time in months I've eaten there, yum), and then went to Insomnia. Had long philosophy discussions with someone I met there. Then went outside, and talked with Dewon (Jason's current kind-of-gf) and Charles and the girl a bit. Later drove her and then Charles home. Apparently, she cheated on her bf with Charles tonight. Not terribly thrilled about hearing that -- although I don't think it's immoral of Charles to participate in that, as he has no moral obligation to fufill her obligations, the participation in her breaking her contract, and the implicit encouragement thereof seems at least unpragmatic, if not unethical.

Before I left Charles' place, we looked at some changes he wants done to his website. Will hopefully do them after I sleep. Hmm... thinking about yet another warm bath, although sleep sounds good too. If only my bathtub were big and comfy, I would sleep in the middle of warm baths often. Maybe I'd drown though, so it might not be a good idea. Anyhow, I really want to sometime get a bathtub that's big enough for me to fit in.

Off I go. Bath or Sleep. Not sure. Will find out soon.

Another day which I'm spending much of it seeking work. Just got back from the OSU employment centre, making an appointment with 5-star staffing for tomorrow morning (on phone right now)...

And while I wait, I think of service queues.... Situations where multiple clients are waiting for a crucial resource over a limited number of channels... thoughts on LIFO versus FIFO.... LIFO is theoretically more efficient if channels are never dropped, as it involves at least one less context switch... but FIFOs has a stronger assurace that the first job provably gets done. Which is worth more?

The taco bell food from yesterday is really punishing me. Spending a lot of time in the bathroom today :(

Now that I'm off the phone, I guess I'll be following the references that Rob (ex-boss from UTS Workstation Support) gave me for seeking work.

Will amuse myself while on hold by picking cat fur out of my keyboard. Wally really likes resting on keyboards.. maybe it's because it forces me to at least briefly pay attention to him. He's a remarkably good cat.

Ahh.. anyhow, enjoyed gumbo from the cajun place today for lunch. Gotta make those calls now..

Hmm... impermanence...

There was a set of nice computer speakers my parents gave me many years ago, that about a month ago broke. (No, if you know me personally, these are not my newest, neat, and very thin speakers, these are the older white blocky ones that I have connected to a different computer). I opened them up, took out a soldiering iron, and fixed them. Today, those speakers appeared to be developing a warble. I might need to open them up again... I'm not sure how long I can keep doing this though -- I figured out how to fix them the last time through trial and error -- this time it's quite possible they're just toast.

Also, my laptop's battery seems to be having problems -- it's not working at all now. I'm not sure if it's just not charging while the computer is on, or if it's truly dead. And... my Rio's battery door continues to get worse. I'm going to get to start using tape to hold it shut soon. Impermanence has always been a major theme in my psychology -- it's something that always troubles me. I can almost feel Nietzsche and Buddha pulling on opposite corners of my mind, two beautiful foes or uneasy allies, each a twisted twin of the other. It would be tempting to place myself in the centre for artistic reasons, but in reality, where they conflict I usually lean much more towards Nietzsche... Curse the artist! Curse this urge, implanted in me, towards poetry where the truth would suffice! A human curses, the universe is witness, at the impurities that have tainted their very mind. The very face of imperfection, that I have memorized its curves and scars, has made me learn to hate the false ideals that have been erected in my mind. Truth is the only antibody to Beauty.

It's been a busy day already!

Went to five-star staffing resources today for an early morning appointment, went ok, but their forms are really rather outdated WRT computer stuff, making me wonder if they often place computer people. Took a typing test there, apparently I type at 79 words per minute. On my way back, ate at the Cajun Place, yet another yummy gumbo meal. Then, just now, made an appointment for Dr. Forrester to have his jaw examined.

Feeling sleepy after the big meal. Maybe will snuggle up with wally and take a long sleep -- I didn't sleep well last night... maybe it's just b/c it was so short a sleep and I was anticipating getting up early. Had maybe 4 hours sleep.

Last night, was at Insomnia, chatted with Dewon for quite some time, while we both were wondering if Jason is going to show up. She's getting more talkative. I'm not sure if she's really happy with her relationship with Jason. It concievably might be the age difference (Jason is slightly older than I am), but more likely is other factors. I wonder if she knows what she wants in a relationship.

To do today, if I wake back up in time:

• Perhaps get a replacement battery for my iBook at Micro Center, as well as perhaps another charger
• Return a tape I got from Media Play
• Go to Meijer and get some hygene supplies that I'm running low on
• Take one of the Iggies out for some sun. I finally found where one of the leashes was hiding...
• Continue to read

Got some work done on Charles' site. Put some new stuff up. Also, wrote an essay, that's not yet on my site, on an analysis of open projects. Not really sure if it's interesting enough to go up. Didn't get as much done yesterday as I had hoped, because Jason said he was going to go with me, and he fell asleep, so I waited.. and then all the places were closed. *sigh*

Ahh. Just ssh'd over to Jason's box and talked with him. He's going downtown to apply for a job. I guess I'll be driving him, and then driving up to MicroCenter. Depending on what kind of application it is, maybe he'll come along. Perhaps he'll want to eat some gumbo while we're out. *shrug*

Gotta hurry, so this entry won't be as long as I imagined it would be.

Oh well.

Back. Went with Jason and Dawon, picked up the application. Then went to Micro Center, and they lacked iBook batteries. Ate gumbo on way back. Then came back here, grabbed Frank, and we all walked to mirror lake, me picking up a new battery on the way at the University Computer Store. Stayed there awhile, letting Frank sun himself. He didn't enjoy it as much as I hoped he would -- I should've brought Dr. F instead. Then went to the greek-ish amplitheatre near the lake, and hung out there for awhile. Just got back.

Kind of tired. Also, very curious to see if the new battery is the end of my troubles with my laptop or if it needs to be repaired in more depth. The new battery is charging right now. Made more changes to Charles' website at his request. Feeling faintly sleepy.

It's odd, talking to people about themselves using metaphors of others. I've been accused of that, wrongly, in the past, and now I find myself doing it. But in this case, it's kind of acknowledged by the person I'm talking to. Moral courage and the right to intervene. Some might say that one should always refrain from giving advice, as it may lead someone to harm, and thus constitutes a responsibility if you fail and nothing if you succeed. I disagree -- when there is no situation of authority over them, one is at least not *morally* responsible for bad advice. Ethically? Pragmatically? Perhaps. Depends on the advice. I always try to give good advice when asked, and take care to disclose any biases I may have when strong bias may taint my judgement.