Dubin's not coming this weekend -- car troubles and other stuff. Hmm... so what to do.. It looks like I'll be going with R to the going out of business sale for an Army Surplus store. I doubt I'll get anything, but it's often fun to browse..

My laptop is finally being shipped. This coming week is my last week before school starts. And, with that realization, I'm getting a bit of the normal nervousness back. I remember occasionally I still get dreams that take me back to my last quarter at OSU.. nervous over grades, and the thought that I might've messed up one of my last classes. The dreams invariably end up being exaggerated versions of my actual worries of those times... Still, it'll be a good thing to get back on track for getting the PhD. I just hope my laptop arrives before classes do, and there's sufficient time to get it configured.

So, I've been spending some time on the online matchmaker sites, and also friendster, which isn't exactly that, but it can be used for such purposes. I've contacted some people, and some people have contacted me. I've actually made some friends. Good deal. I haven't really had any dates from it -- there was one, but I just don't think there was mutual attraction. There are some people who sound interesting who I'm having email conversations with that I might meet up with at some point. Some have pictures, some don't. I wish more did -- it helps to avoid a disappointing face-to-face meeting, if the conversations were good but there's just no attraction. I mean, there are plenty of people I might be friends with, but I want there to be mutual knowledge that that's the nature of things, if it is, as early as possible. Anyhow, here's the main thing that I got onto this topic for... There's someone who's been interested in me, who I'm not attracted to, who uses more than one of the matchmaker services. I've never really been sure about what the etiquette for these things is -- if you're not attracted, it's been suggested to me by all my friends who use such things (who, by the way, seem to have a much easier time finding people to date. I think I'm too picky..) that if you're not interested, you just ignore them, and delete the message. So, that's what I've been doing. And, of course, on the other side, I've occasionally messaged people, and often when I do, I get no response. It's frustrating. However, when I've thought about sending a response, I really can't think of what to say that'd be less unkind than simply not responding -- "Sorry, I'm not interested" suggests that they're not good enough, or something like that. Maybe the silence says it too, but at least then there's room for doubt. I could even spell out the reasons for some of the people who have emailed me -- apparently some really religious people neglect to notice that I'm an atheist, or similar. More on that later. So, anyhow, I really don't know what the best thing to do. I guess I wonder if I could stand specific notes of what makes me incompatible with someone. I hope I could, and it reminds me of some time back when someone I knew said that I looked kind of hippie-ish. I probably did look like that back then .. heh. I wonder, if I were to tell people I knew things about them that they'd rather not hear, if such a brief telling could preclude a friendship. I'm not even sure I know such things for many people.. but sometimes some kinds of facts or opinions are an assault on people's self esteem. For example, let's say that one of my friends said that they always thought me to be ugly. Perhaps true, perhaps they would've been thinking it for some time. It still might be weird dealing with the knowledge that they think of me that way, and instill some worry that I am, indeed, that way. Is it merely that some areas of statement have been so regulated by society into the 'insult' realm that touching them invariably makes one feel hit as if one were insulted, or is it that there are some areas that are, more or less, inherently sensitive for most people? It's like there's an area where there's a big out-of-bounds marker that's always there between people in our society who want to remain civil to each other. Anyhow, that's the thought for today. I will leave it to you, my dear reader, to judge as to if I'm ugly, plain, attractive, or something else. That was just a theoretical :)

Hmm. Forget the later. I need to get moving and showered and stuff.