DawnA gallop? No, a terrified man running through the woods.. We see no pursuer, but clearly he's in a panic, his limbs flailing, his eyes wide, each step a gamble, tiny slips and stumbles are met with a quick push and he's off again.. it's dark, the snow is everywhere, the only light being ill-spaced streetlights, providing a small feeling of day in some areas. I passed this shadow on the way to my meal, in my eyes, a playlist.. and a thought... Again, the other Pat's, the other paths... and then of last year... a brief moment of cold, and the blur of time.. it's warm, the sharp edges of the snowflakes become a cold plasma, sort enough to touch, the smeared paint...
o/~ Save the world, don't leave the house A virtual office in a virtual home So you'll never have to drive through the wrong part of town Pass it along by word of mouse
Ah, where do you want to go today?
Ah, Somewhere you could never take me..
o/~ -- Chumbawumba, "
I pause, and not my own blue smear, but the orange smear of someone
else.. Not like me... I live in a world of shades of blue and green..
I blink, see the sun, see what you see in that place.. and see myself
reflected in your eyes. I absorb a bit, touch the wall of a building,
feel the grit against my fingers.. and am satisfied that this is real..
or real enough, rub the specks across my chest (or is it a shirt?), and
lower my head, returning to my place. And yet, as it fades, and I pass
through an intermediary, I see it is of one of my lessers, still learning
to shape, or perhaps stopped earlier.. they've taken my realm, or what
they can see of it, and made theirs from it, with tweaks.. the dark spindle
in their interpretation, with a green-white crystaline, instead of the
near-purple I have given it. I smile, notice that their grass is actually
green, with the texture of carpet and cotton, water spreading through my
feet. And then it's gone again, as the blue haze returns. Yes, light only
seems to come from the usual sources...
A sudden insight.. "An American Tail" -- could it be a story about ..
well, I googled, and indeed it is, and I am reminded of elements of the
movie that I had forgotten. In fact, it isn't a deep relevation at all,
just something that I couldn't catch when I was younger.
And so, yeah, that's just the way life goes. The best times are in the
past? The future? Down paths untaken? Right here? It seems a mistake
to always seek that. Is it not also beautiful to take delight in the
rest of the basket? I borrowed a book on Richard Nixon from my Parents'
library when I was at home.. there's a certain attraction to Nixon, even
if he was as crazy as he is said to be... he's very human.. and no, I don't
mean human in that stupid, self-congratulatory sense that's all-too-common
nowadays. What I mean is that Nixon, in his paranoia, fears and doubts, his
lies and intrigue, he has a force of personality, with all the temptations
and .. hmm.. I'm getting a strange imagery in my mind, I think from a dream.
A bad dream... Somehow, imagine an outline of a human body, with a black
background. From inwards pointing out are things that resemble spaghetti,
lacing up and down, left and right, each with an end facing the surface..
they flat in the black, with sponges and sand..
Hmm. Weird imagery probably means I should be going to bed. It's one thing
to produce strange words as metaphors for things that'd be less interesting
or sensitive to say directly (or form emotions or mental states that arn't
easily describe), it's another thing entirely to start getting extremely
strange, vivid things pop into your mind.. .. hmm.. I almost typed vivisection,
and for some reason, the word squid is associated with it in my mind..
Yes, type to Zzz.