Time Heals All Wounds.. And Then Kills the Patient
<Previous Next>
Dawn
Dawn
Sun Feb 24 01:03:43 2002
Pain and brain
Topics:

With sufficient intelligence you don't need to know as much. I've gotten by all of college without studying based on that. I've always been able to pull together, from common sense, listening to lectures, and a (very) optional single reading through the material from the book, everything I needed for tests. The effects are usually pretty good -- I had about a 3.0 GPA. The downside is that I never managed to overcome my dislike of doing things by rote. Is that a downside? I think it might be..

I was at outland recently, and I was feeling generally bummed. I just saw all the happy pairings of people, and despite there still being plenty of unpaired people, I still found myself feeling jealous of their happiness and kind of lonely. Jessica was there, and by coincidence, I was sitting near where her coat was, and we briefly chatted while getting stuff from her coat. She commented that a speaker I went to see recently was a freak. I was sort of bothered by his willingness to be apologetic for the Christians, but I don't really see how he was a freak. I feel kind of confused. I wonder... perhaps when I have a crush on someone, everything they say seems to be amplified in importance. It's hard for me to know -- I don't really get crushes often, and this is the first time in years that I actually interacted to any degree with someone I have a crush on.. I guess I should just try to forget that part of my life... No romance for Pat. People either have the wrong gender attraction, they're already matched, they are philosophically incompatible, they're not attracted to me, or I'm not to them. Oh well. Actually, the last one is the biggest hurdle.

The last 2 times I've been at outland, I have found some nice people to chat with... I wasn't really attracted to either of them, but they both also liked british humor, books, and were intellectuals of a sort. They both also were attracted to me, perhaps. It's unfortunate. I wish there were a way I could only be attractive to people I'm attracted to. I hate the idea of being a disappointment to whatever set of people might find me attractive. It's probably not a big problem though :P

At my last philosophy thing, I spoke with a rare beast -- a Christian who wasn't terribly irritating to chat with in depth on the topic. Near the end of the evening, we discussed eternity. In essense, he seemed to think that eternal life would be a good thing, and I feel otherwise. I wonder if he hasn't thought this through entirely, or if he really things very differently from me on this topic. I don't want to live forever. There are things I want while I'm alive... contribute to science and philosophy, advance my goals, help keep the planet alive longer, avoid discomfort, find a companion to spend most of my life with, etc. There will reach points where I can't do those things as much or at all. At that point, I think I'll be tired, and life's grip on me will be less. I eventually won't mind death, and might invite it in for tea.. and on some occasion might decide to leave with it. Oblivion is what I expect in the end. Eternal life, be it in an afterlife of any flavor or in reality is not what I want.. Like the tiredness as the day pulls near its end, its greater cousin will arise, and I'll then be ready to succomb. The day is still young, and I'm only a little bit tired now, in that particular way. Depending on your age, theoretical reader, I invite you to taste the wind.. you might discover hints of tiredness in the air surrounding you..

Anyhow, for right now, I'm going to submit to that other form of tiredness. I've been reading an interesting book recently, The Jews of Islam, which examines the historical relationships between Jews and Muslims thoughout history. It's fascinating, and loosely chronological. It's been hinted from what I've read that sometime around 1900CE something changed in one or both of the cultures that caused a radical shift in the dynamic. It should be explained later in the book, and I'm actually looking forward to it. Apparently, until that time, the Muslims and Jews had gotten along significantly better than the Christians and Jews. If only I wern't tired, I'd read some more, but I really must sleep.