Time Heals All Wounds.. And Then Kills the Patient
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Sat Mar 2 22:41:26 2002

A piece of idea left here or there... what did I think? I feel like I'm trying to carry water in my hands. I've been thinking about a lot of interesting things, but I haven't been writing them down, and so all I am relying on is my frail memory. A week and a half ago, I was thinking about alternative economic models. Ever notice how capitalism usually stops at the borders of an organization? We don't buy pencils from the supply cabinet. There are many forms of planned economies that all float, like bubbles in soda, in capitalism. Are there inherent limitations that prevent or inhibit them from being a self-sufficient economy? Also, I have always had a deep fear of the lack of provable stability for an economy as big as modern ones are. Is it possible to have some kind of a back-up, individual or gross, that we can rely on during bad times? I'm having trouble concentrating.

I wonder if I'm happy. Well, no, I guess I know. I'm not happy, unhappy, etc. I tend to think about those terms in the 'sensation' role. What I really mean is.. do I feel content with the way my life is going? Hmm. Proper thought is all about picking the right terms.. Anyhow... I guess it's hard to answer. Right now is essentially a sacrifice part of my life. I'm trying to save money so I can go back to college in comfort. I'm not really expecting much contentedness. I don't know if I'm achieving that goal, and that has some effect on if I'm content.. but it's not the whole thing. There's still a base idea of contentedness that's seperate.

There's still the love thing.. nothing at all but frustration. There's the match.com thing, which I suspect is a prank, and a few other people on match.com that I'm too cheap to pay to contact and likely wouldn't be a good match anyhow.. And in RL, there's still Jessica and a very few other ppl I find attractive, but are already taken. Whee. I talk about this too much.

Where I'm living? Well, it's big, but I'm frustrated at the cost of utilities and all that. It gets too cold.. and contributes to my money woes. Money. Bleh.

And of course, respect. It's not easy to get. Work, and otherwhere. Time to get back to work.. I have more I want to get done before I go to bed.