Time Heals All Wounds.. And Then Kills the Patient
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Fri Jul 5 18:44:08 2002
Social ties

In reflection on the last few days, I guess social ties really do matter to me. I don't miss *things* as much as I do *people*. Everyone I know, chosen or not, friend or not, is someone that is part of my life, and feeling those ties break hurts. When I am ancient, and the people I know in life are all distant or dead, the satisfactions from my life will probably change what would be existential angst now into a certain kind of tiredness and readiness for oblivion. I haven't feared death for about three years. So, I imagine things as being kind of a reverse mahjongg -- placing pieces of a sucessful life in the right patterns to be happy and content until the end. Here are some of my pieces, exempting the ones that have not been revealed:

I hope to visit Pittsburgh, my likely future home, soon. It's odd -- I think that lonliness and its opposite are major themes in my life. I hate people, but sometimes am surprised by them and really think they're cool. I place myself above most people, and yet am very content with people I consider to be roughly equals. Are these part of a larger pattern, or am I seeing patterns that arn't real? Problems for science often are also problems for the individual. Statistical significance with small data sets, interpretation, broken logic systems, etc.

Heh. An amusing phrase, "The Unix of Philosophies". A data point for my wonder about where to spend time in philosophy, on the edge or trying to put things simply so the masses can grasp them.