Time Heals All Wounds.. And Then Kills the Patient
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Dusk
Dusk
Thu Aug 7 18:29:56 2003
Bus Wipers
Topics:

I noticed, while heading back from Coffee Tree today, that Busses have strange windshield wipers, at least by car standards. Instead of pivoting, they go over the windows like a broom.

So, yesterday's accident ... let me explain in more detail. I was heading to Sree's in SqHill, to grab dinner, and I was dodging a pedestrian. Unfortunately, I didn't dodge quite well enough, and had to slow down to avoid hitting a garbage can. Well, I was going downhill, and wasn't aware that bike brakes are tricky to apply while going downhill. In short, the bike did a somersault, and unlike last week's near hit by a car, this time I didn't land on my feet. It must've been quite magestic though -- I was flying straight forward through the air, probably looking like superman. No flight powers here though -- I hit the ground with my chin and hands. My chin bled quite a bit, and my hands were really messed up. I was shaking a bit from the pain. Sree's wasn't even open.. *sigh* (wasn't open today either, hmm....). So, I delicately made my way back home and, as is my custom when I don't feel well, went to sleep. I woke up in time for Zets though.

There was a Zapme after Zets.. it was a funny britcom, but it was on a topic that I'm always sensitive -- betrayals in relationships. Even though I'm not in one, and indeed don't even have any 'prospects' apart from someone I see every so often in passing who isn't interested (no, it's not N, who I have found out is unfaithful for disturbing reasons -- someone else) Anyhow, yeah, something about hearing about, or seeing depicted, someone who is unfaithful to their SO, even being too familiar with someone else.. it's like an icepick in my brain. I think the roots of this are pre-Debb, although her lack of loyalty probably enchanced it. When I see it in a movie or on TV, I can just feel myself getting tense, emotional, and all that. I think it's one of my biggest fears, and perhaps the easiest emotional hotspot by which I can be played with. And, of course, I've had people play with it before..

Anyhow, yesterday I also spoke with someone who I never thought I actually would speak with. Not really a mirror image, but similar enough that it really would've been interesting to see what might've come, had circumstances been different. I suspect eventually, a bunch of good-natured ribbing between people who think they're living purer lives than each other. Maybe, in some fashion, that still can be had, along with the other things. It's all probably about learning to untangle a complication that emotionally should be there but logically and in view of best results, should not.

And, perhaps, someone who I judged harshly doesn't deserve such harsh judgement. I am judgemental, as those of you who know me, know. Some people find the notion of judgemental moral relativists to be odd. Get to know me. It won't seem so odd. I'll explain it to you. :)

It rained *really* hard today as I was heading home. Quite amazing -- the streets are flooding in some places. .. And my wounds.. My chin is a bit swollen, my jaw hurts a bit after all the chewing of a meal... and where it hit the ground, it's still raw and a bit ugly. My right hand is mostly ok -- it's not nearly at full strength, and hurts a bit, but it's, all things considered, my good hand, and probably will be ok tomorrow. My left hand is a bit of a mess. For most of today, typing was really unpleasant, and I can't carry anything with any weight at all in it. I lifted my bookback off the ground a few minutes ago, and it hurt quite a lot. Still, it's mobile enough to type now, and with any luck, it'll be where the right hand is now within a few days. It also looks rather unpleasant -- swollen, with a very visible bruise and some spots where arteries show that shouldn't. Oh well.

The last few days have been good for reflection. I'm thinking about the lifestyle changes I'll need to be making soon when school starts again. It's not going to be easy doing fulltime work and taking two classes. I'm going to need to get better at getting to bed on time so I won't be tired while I'm trying to learn stuff. With studying also stuck back into my life, I'm going to have less personal time to program, read, and all that. Still, I should have plenty of time for that, as well as PUSH -- it'll just switch from there being huge margins for error to there just being moderate margins. It helps, I think, to live relatively like a monk. Heck, maybe I'll meet someone, and they'll take some more time and stuff. Still, in the end, I think that'd be a good thing -- it's easier to live when one feels that there isn't a huge area of life that's unfulfilled and not going anywhere. :)

I have two things that I want to chew on for purpose of essays.. One is exactly my vision of what a good philosophic life looks like.. I've written on this before, but I have new ideas to weave in, and I want to make it a good quality writing, and the other is a nice, more unified critique and discussion of capitalism, consumerism, and all that.

Alas, I can't think of such things right now, because I have a really adorable cat sitting on my lap, looking up at me with fantastically cute green eyes. I'm so happy that he's in my life. Apart from the aspect of him leaving special presents all over the apartment that keep me from forgetting where the mop and paper towels live, I trust him completely. I even gave him his own email address recently. How many cats do you know of that can claim that?