Time Heals All Wounds.. And Then Kills the Patient
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Fri Apr 8 17:31:26 2005
Lifeline on the Brain

The finger moved gently over the surface of the brain, feeling the life within. The sulci, the lobes whispered secrets as loudly as they could to the questing hands.

I was in a lab meeting today, and noticed how everyone always sits in the same seat at almost every meeting. When I was younger, I recall in the classroom how I wanted to sit in a different seat every day, and the teachers would usually give assigned seating. Now that I'm older, I seem to settle into the same seat every day without prompting.

A philosophy group I'm in is discussing the nature of evil on its mailing list. I'm not sure I'm enough on the same wavelength as them for it to be a good discussion for me -- I asked, without a satisfactory answer, if they see it more as an existing phonomena that we're trying to categorize/encapsulate with a definition, or more of a synthesis of human needs and convenience. To me, evil and good are more of the second -- it's a shorthand for things that go against one's personal values, and an archaic word that's effective mostly in propoganda. Sure, religious folk love to say "Ahh, but isn't slaughtering random folk evil?", with the intent of making people feel like a schmuck not saying yes. The right answer is that it goes against my values, and against a lot of peoples values to the extent that we're disgusted by it and most of us will use force to stop such things. To pretend to universalize it is just emotional thinking. Unfortunately, for me arguing the specifics of a term that I think of that way becomes uninteresting and an exercise in futility, especially when, from my perspective, they fail to understand what they're really talking about and hoping for a consensus that won't ever materialize.

I'm also still lonely, depressed, and emotionally messed up. I've been tempted to go in directions that would surely lead to trouble, or other directions that would likely lead to trouble. I'm sure things will stabilize soon. Fortunately, there are things at work to distract me -- I recently found out that three of the 22 subjects in my current study may have had their brain scans not lined up right, which may explain the poor (read: small) results in the analysis. I'm looking further into it.