Time Heals All Wounds.. And Then Kills the Patient
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Fri Nov 6 15:12:18 2009
What is Primal about Relationships

What is instinct, and what is done about romantic/sexual relations: (mental sourcecode):

General duty: keep all this mess under the surface when possible, and as a friend try not to be disruptive of relationships of one's friends or people one cares about. If one cannot legitimately do this, limit or break contact with those friends.

These are what I think people have as basic material to work with - specific cultures, philosophies, upbringing can attempt to layer new traditions or remove/rework the instincts we have. (nuance: these are gained through my observation and having talked with others (while trying to figure out where they may have been not entirely honest with themselves or reshaped themselves and forgotten what they were), but bound together most tightly by my own introspection - if it is not fully general, it is likely shaped by my being:

  1. Male
  2. Bisexual but relationship-oriented towards a pairing with a female
  3. Liberal
  4. Inclined towards few, very strong attachments to friends (which I have been lacking for quite some time in actuality for years) and a preference for a very strong/intense relationship style
  5. Generally respectful of Freud's depiction of the broad shapes of what it means to be human
One always hopes to be general, but it's hard to be sure when enough introspection is involved )

Implications for life philosophy: Varied, particularly where gender relations intersect with liberalism. We recognise that these urges are accomodated in some ways by traditional societies where liberal societies ignore them, telling people that dealing with them is a general responsibility of people. For some of the more emotionally charged circumstances involved, we can understand why people would act in certain ways that we nontheless legally prohibit - an ideal system may in fact have a public value system that is necessarily at odds with the legal enshrinement of that system (e.g. you are inspired to do illegal thing X in order to be a fully realised person by general mores of society, and you are then obligated to face the legal consequences).

I do not think it is "being a better person" to try to go too far beyond the limits of this - to step too far beyond what we must makes us less human and twists who we are. Jealousy over people we're interested in is natural, even if its expression is something we reject or constrain tightly. We thus reject both the "try to handle these things so lightly that we don't feel it" as diminishing matters of the heart, and the "actually beat people up or seek them out for confrontation" as being inappropriate for adults and undersocialised. We can be "accepting that X is in a relationship" or "disapproving/rejecting X's relationship but in an appropriate way" according to the particulars.

I have been moderately obsessed with the traditional Russian song, Катюша. At home, because my apartment has numerous flaws in terms of keeping the cold air from outside from entering, I have also been dependent on the warmth of cats to keep my legs warm. (blah blah band name 「Dependent on the Warmth of Cats」 blah blah - it is interesting how the -ent version describes the state and the -ant version describes one in that state, while they are pronounced practically the same in all but the most careful levels of enunciation).

Finally: For those of us who (sigh) follow PZ Meyers, I think he's almost completely wrong on his opinionating over the Sunsara Taylor/Ethical Humanist Society mess. In brief:

I have no comment on the police action - I would need to have been there or have had footage to know if it was inappropriate.